Glass Ceiling in Myanmar | Growing up in a Sexist Culture

I have been meaning to write this blog post for a while, but I keep postponing it for a variety of reasons. One of them is that I couldn’t find the time to sit down and organize my thoughts on this. Another reason is this subject feels quite personal to me.

As an introvert who normally likes to keep to myself, it is a difficult topic to write about. However, this past February, I participated in WiS panel from MIDD+ 2022 conference. The support I received inspired me to share my experiences dealing with sexism, patriarchy, and misogyny in my home country. My hope is that by writing about it, I can help young girls under similar constraints to empower themselves and pursue their ambitions fearlessly in life.

A Bit About Myanmar

I come from Myanmar, a country that made headlines in the west due to the military coup on February 1^st, 2021. Large civilian crowds took to the streets to protest and make their desire for democracy loud and clear. Thousands were killed and/or imprisoned in the ensuing months.

Growing up under a military dictatorship, I hated the brutally oppressive regime, along with its sickening corruption. While high-ranked generals enjoyed all sorts of privileges, a majority of the population was starving and living in poverty. I had hope when our country became semi-democratic in the last decade, but it was short-lived. The situation with the military coup is still as bad today, even if awareness has almost completely phased out of the news cycle by now.

But this blog post is not about the military coup. It’s about the cultural influences and impacts on women’s life.

Traditional Beliefs & Patriarchy

I grew up in a conservative culture under a fascist military dictatorship, and the society was and is to this day, very patriarchal. Men are household, society, and political leaders. Male dominance is pervasive in every facet of our lives, including traditional religious beliefs and daily chores.

Religion or Culture?

For instance, people believe that men are born with greater spiritual power (or “hpone”) than women. Apparently, they are nobler and can aspire to become a Buddha one day whereas females cannot. Often, women wish to be reborn as men in their next lives.

When I went to pagodas and temples, I would see men climbing pagodas and sticking gold plates onto them. In contrast, women were not allowed to do so. It’s a privilege reserved for men because they embody “spiritual greatness” and “nobility”. Women, however, are too “lowly” or “spiritually inferior” to perform these activities.

Day-to-Day Activities

Even the most mundane things, such as doing laundry, are influenced by misogyny. Women must separate their garments from men’s clothes because mixing them could sap men’s spiritual power. Men, accordingly, don’t go under places where women’s longyis (bottom skirts) hang. Moreover, in the days preceding their weddings, men have to be careful because marrying a woman could lower their spiritual powers.

When seats are limited in social gatherings, men sit on higher chairs, while women sit lower, such as on the floor.

I grew up experiencing these kinds of treatments everywhere. During your developing years, the culture you live under will heavily influence your self-image. If girls are being told they are less than men from the moment they are born, they might just believe it themselves.

Even so, the women in my family protest about these beliefs now and then. I like my sister’s remark, “Well, they talk about males’ spiritual power and stuff, but where do they think they come from? Weren’t they given birth through women(‘s vaginas)?”

Education: “Boys are smarter” 

My mom and dad always prioritized learning and education for my siblings and me. We went to one of the best, and most competitive schools in Myanmar. Always eager and devoted to learning, I was often one of the top students in the school (and even the country).

Our culture teaches us that men are naturally smarter than women. This belief system is so firmly rooted in our culture that when presented with disproving evidence, people will rationalize it to fit their preconceived ideas.

In some school subjects, when I lost a few points, the teachers would say, “Min Hein (fake name) got perfect scores. Well, he is a boy, so don’t beat yourself up for that. You did great for a girl”. Yet, they failed to mention all the times I did better than those “naturally smarter” guys. And the times that I did better, they said, “You are very smart for a girl, but if guys actually try, you won’t catch up to them”. People tried to rationalize whatever situation we were in to fit with those stereotypical views.

I was frustrated by those claims because no matter what, I would never be considered an intellectual equal to guys. I heard comments like that often, even when I was in the top ten in the national matriculation exam.

As my sister would put it, “It’s like we lose even before we get in the competition”. The culture instilled an inferiority complex into women’s minds. I used to wonder if I was lesser or less smart. I was nervous every time I had to compete with boys. Today I know it’s all BS, but I didn’t know it back then.

Relationships: “Smart women usually have a hard time finding husbands.”

My high-school friends used to say, “Smart women usually have a hard time finding husbands”. It was a strange view, but I didn’t think much of it back then.

When I started dating, I found myself hiding my SAT and TOEFL scores from my boyfriend at the time, because my scores were usually better than his. Apparently, my success in the same areas made him feel small and less dependable. He said he wanted to be better than me because he’s a man and a natural household leader. However, I couldn’t help but do my best, regardless of how it made him look.

I hated the idea of men being household leaders (even though that is the status quo). To me, relationships and marriages should be collaborative, equal-partner teams. Understandably, that relationship didn’t work out. It was due to many reasons, including that one. Society isn’t kind to men whose wives or girlfriends are more successful than them either. If a woman were the household leader, people would say the husband’s hanging onto his wife’s longyi to eat food.

Professional And Political Spheres

I didn’t see many female leaders in high-up positions (except Daw Aung San Suu Kyi) while growing up. Isn’t it ironic that the most popular politician in Myanmar is a woman, yet the country is heavily patriarchal? I have also heard many sexist comments about her such as “How can she think or lead with her woman brain?” I felt like throwing some onions onto their faces every time I heard that. At the same time, I didn’t want people to know me as the violent onion-throwing feminist. Frankly, I didn’t even know the term “feminist”. I just had a lot of annoyance towards people talking down or suppressing women.

“The problem is our place in politics and the leadership,” said Pyo Let Han, a feminist writer in Rangoon. “Culturally, a country dominated by the military will always look down on women. Men dominate. They always think that we’re not ready for leadership”. She noted that military officers and ruling party politicians often attack Suu Kyi as “the foreigner’s wife” or sneer at her “fancy dress, flowers, and perfume” – all too characteristic, said Pyo Let Han, of the “sexist responses” that women politicians and activists often experience.

I didn’t see female taxi or bus drivers until I left the country in 2012. In 2014 or so, I remember reading in the news that there were five female taxi drivers in the city of Yangon. I was surprised to see the news making headlines in a local newspaper. There were very few policewomen as well.

When I visited home in 2014, a Burmese friend pointed out that it felt weird to see women in police uniforms. She said it didn’t suit them either, so I snapped back, “They look fine. Get used to it.”

Outside the Bubble 

I am currently a scientist working in the states. I got a Ph.D. in Chemistry (Cheminformatics) from North Carolina State University in 2020. In my experience going to conferences and talks, there are always fewer women than men in this field. Over time, I got used to being a minority in the rooms that I have walked into, so it no longer makes me feel odd.

Most of the time, I don’t think about it anymore. However, I remember when starting out, I didn’t feel that way. I used to feel out of place, like I didn’t belong, especially in rooms or tables where I was the only woman. Coming from a culture that regards men as superior spiritually, physically, intellectually, and socially, maybe it was reasonable to feel that way.

Over the years, I overcame it little by little.

Don’t Hold Yourself Back

I’m an ambitious person, and I don’t want anything to hold me back, including myself. So, I push myself into doing things, like “Go apply for that scholarship” even if I don’t think I have any chance. (I won the AAUW International Doctoral Fellowship in 2019).

“Go finish a project in that hackathon” even though I ended up without a team. I placed second in that hackathon.

“Go get that paper published” even if the initial paper rejection was soul-crushing. Then, I won an ACS CINF scientific excellence award for that project. And the paper got published.

If there is an opportunity to better yourself, chase it. Use every failure as a stepping stone.

Eliminate the self-negative talk. Encourage yourself. Advocate yourself. Be proactive, be brave, be free.

You deserve the world, so give it yourself.

Mentors

I am thankful to have met supportive mentors and friends who shaped my life in meaningful ways. Some of them in Myanmar defied our cultural upbringing and treated me as an equal to other male peers. They generously applauded my little successes along the way. It helped.

Eventually, I attended Berea College as an undergraduate. There, I found a space to reflect on this topic through readings, class activities, and discussions. I encountered mentors like Dr. Heggen and Dr. Jan from the CS Department. They placed unwavering belief in me and pushed me out of my comfort zone to reach my potential. I started out in Computer Science as a ball of nerves, and Dr. Heggen’s confidence in me greatly shaped my professional interest and development. The role of mentors is incredibly important in shaping the youths’ potential, growth, and trajectory in life.

During my Ph.D., I remember how disheartened I was at my first paper rejection. The comments were brutal. I also remember vividly what my mentor (Dr. Fourches) told me. He said the best papers were the ones that got rejected the most because they had the most opportunities to improve. He shared his and others’ experiences with paper rejections and changed how I approach setbacks. I never felt more inspired.

Family

I have a lot of love, respect, and gratitude for my husband for his dedicated support, kindness, selflessness, and empowerment throughout the years. Having a partner like him makes me feel liberated like never before. When I wanted to remain in the states to work, he moved all the way from Bolivia to be with me, uprooting his life and sacrificing his job to help me fulfill my career goals.

He takes care of the house, our cat, and the meals, helps me debug projects now and then, and fulfills a role that a traditional husband in Myanmar wouldn’t do. He also helped with reviewing and editing this article. Additionally, he has his own blog where he writes tutorials on python, data science, finance, cryptocurrency, and entrepreneurship. He inspires me daily and sticks with me through all ups and downs. I am thankful for all that he does.

I am also thankful to my family for their unconditional love and support. We grew up in the same culture, so we have a shared understanding of the challenges in society. We are there for each other to lend strength in times of need, and to share the frustrations and burdens we face.

Final Thoughts

I wish the next generation of kids in Myanmar wouldn’t have to grow up in this culture … the kind that restrains them and sets limits on their potential, freedom, and growth. I have a niece and a nephew nicknamed “potato” and “eggplant” respectively. They should be able to pursue their passions with confidence. They shouldn’t have a little voice in their heads (like I did) that holds them back and dampens their self-esteem.

I want them to defiantly reject all these narrow-minded and downright damaging stereotypical views. Lastly, I want them to know those cultural views are all BS and absolute trash. I wish I knew that growing up too.

P.S. A friend of mine also wrote about her own experiences growing up in Myanmar.